Asians are judgmental but when it comes to family, it is a challenge to be with them mainly because of their cultural belief. Although the younger generations are more open minded in accepting other cultures into their lives, Asian parents on the other hand are still in bound culturally which can only mean one thing – big trouble for you. Here’s 7 ways on how to get their acceptance.
1) No PDAs (Public Display of Affection) in front of the parents
In Asia, it is NOT normal to make out in public so you can just imagine how disrespectful it might be to Asian parents. Public display of affection including holding hands are usually not shown in front of family in most Asian families.
2) Wear cultural uniforms in occasions
Asians love it when other people foreign to their culture wear their cultural uniform. It symbolizes unity and that it shows that you accept their way of life. But don’t wear it all the time though, wear only on special occasions where they themselves would dress up culturally.
3) Never talk about you relationship UNLESS asked
The reason why you want to meet his or her parents is because you want to try and gain their approval. If the parents don’t accept your relationship with their daughter or son in the first place, bringing up the topic would definitely add fuel to the fire.
4) Always bring gifts when visiting
It’s a culture in almost every Asian family be it Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Malay or even Indian to bring gifts when visiting their family. It shows that you also care about creating bonds with your partner’s family. Typical gifts are fruits, hampers or anything unique from the area you came from.
5) You MUST have a clear future
Asians value family among anything else and that means having a low-paying job as a garbage man or janitor would most definitely displease the parents. It’s not impossible to please them, but it would be very difficult to gain their trust. On the other hand, having a professional career such like being a doctor, engineer or a lawyer would definitely gain you the upper hand.
6) Learn a few words of the language
It would be very meaningful if you come and visit them by saying a few words of their own language. For example, saying “ni hao ma” for Chinese or “apa khabar” for Indonesian which means how are you can really impress them. Unless they come from a bilingual Asian country such as Malaysia and Singapore who actually implements English as their second language, they would normally speak their own native language. Have you ever noticed how certain Asians however developed the country of origin may be like Japan and Korea, have terrible English? That’s because they never implement the language even if they do learn it at school. So taking the time to learn a few words of their language would surely impress them to high heavens.
7) Eat their food
A lot of foreigners who tend to stay with their spouse in Asian countries have a hard time adjusting to their food habit. For example, Koreans eat live octopus and Indonesians add massive amounts of chili in just about all their cooking. These types of foods are bizarre for western as the type of food that they eat is totally different. But Asians love their food, so much so that one of the main attractions when visiting the country itself is their food. So the next time you go out with an Asian family to a restaurant serving bizarre Asian food, try to eat their food. You would never know that they way to a man’s heart is through his belly thing is actually true.
However judgmental Asian parents tend to be, trust is held very high if they are given. Asian families are cultural that’s true, but in this era the younger generations are more open minded. That means once you clear the lines with the parents, getting the rest of the family to accept you should be piece of cake.